Treasure Hunt

Issue # 2

Near Misses"

Script for Pages 1-22

Written by Randy Lander

February 22, 1998




Top half of page. Repeated view of the final panel of last issue. To recap, DECKARD THOMPSON is being held by the throat by a nasty looking Aztec vampire named CORTEZ. SAM SPADE stands in front of him, with both of her hands reaching into her backpack for her pistols. They are inside the Cacahuamilpa caverns, a vast underground network of caverns, although they are not far from the entrance, which has sealed. What has not sealed are the numerous hidden entryways in the walls, floor and ceilings that have released a number of other vampires, who surround DECKARD THOMPSON and are advancing menacingly on SAM SPADE.

 1 SAM SPADE:     Well, this isn’t good.


Below the main splash, we see SAM SPADE slowly pulling her guns out, still keeping them behind her back, while she backs up to the rock which has just sealed her in. Meanwhile, DECKARD THOMPSON squirms and complains and VAMPIRE CORTEZ growls at him.

 2 SAM SPADE:     Thompson…what are you doing here?

 3 DECKARD THOMPSON:  I’m wavering between finding a lost treasure and becoming a snack. Thanks for asking.

 4 CORTEZ:        <Silence, food. My long sleep has left me quite irritable.>

 5 CAPTION:       <Translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>


Three vampires move in on SAM SPADE, one on left, one on right and one center. In one of the open holes near the ceiling on the right wall, we can see movement. A shadow indicating someone is in there.

 6 SAM SPADE:     You’re chasing the Tear, aren’t you? How do you always do this?




The vampires lunge, as one, at SAM SPADE. She pulls out her pistols and fires a bullet into the head of the one on the left with her left hand and the one on her right with her right. The middle one, without any gunfire from SAM SPADE, receives a very fatal looking bullet wound in the heart. It’s very important that this be a fairly close perspective, as the third shot came from JORDAN, who has climbed with sniper rifle into one of the hidden tunnels, and I don’t want to see her in this scene.


SFX:           BLAM! BLAM!


SFX:           KRAK!


 1 SAM SPADE:     Never mind. We’ll discuss it later.



Now we see JORDAN, who holds a smoking sniper rifle, still looking through the scope as several of the vampires notice her and start flapping their wings to come up and get her. JORDAN is ensconced in one of the holes, about 12 feet up the wall. The hole is just big enough for a person to walk through hunched over, and she is lying on her belly to take the shots.


 2 JORDAN:        Uh oh. Bad career move.



SAM SPADE is in motion, running and climbing over the corpse of the middle vampire while firing at the others surrounding VAMPIRE CORTEZ. The vampires are momentarily disoriented. They’ve never seen guns before. Some of them are screeching at each other about that very fact. The group surrounding SPADE and THOMPSON momentarily loosens, giving them a corridor up to the hole JORDAN is sitting in. Meanwhile, DECKARD THOMPSON is screaming at SAM SPADE about the fact that VAMPIRE CORTEZ is likely to tear off his head if she keeps this up.


SFX:           BLAM! BLAM!


 3 VAMPIRE 1 :    <The females with the fire sticks! They killed Kine’!>


 4 CAPTION:       <Loosely translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>


 5 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Spade, it’s going to be hard to explain myself if I’m without a head!



SAM SPADE reaches VAMPIRE CORTEZ and delivers a rather potent kick to his groin, causing him to drop DECKARD THOMPSON. She yells something at DECKARD THOMPSON while doing this and simultaneously firing both her guns at two other vampires who are closing in. Meanwhile, in the background we can see two of the flying vampires drop as JORDAN puts a bullet into each one.


SFX:           BLAM! BLAM!


 6 SAM SPADE:     I can only do so many things at a time!


SFX:           KRAK! KRAK!


 7 DECKARD THOMPSON:  As long as one of them involves getting us out of here!




SAM SPADE tosses one of her guns to DECKARD THOMPSON and barks an order at him while JORDAN carefully picks off two more vampires closing in on her. The ranks of the vampires start to come together again, massing a little ways away from the SPADE and THOMPSON and preparing to move in.


 1 SAM SPADE:     Just shut up, take this and use it!


SFX:           KRAK! KRAK!



DECKARD THOMPSON, wearing a surprised expression, fires the pistol at one of the vampires that is getting too close, ducking as two more go lunging over his head. SAM SPADE dodges likewise as two vampires try to grab her, and she reaches into her pack and produces a coiled length of rope.


 2 DECKARD THOMPSON:  What is this thing made of, Spade? It’s lighter than any gun I’ve ever felt! Whoah!


SFX:           BLAM!


 3 SAM SPADE:     They’re enchanted, Thompson! And it’s a good thing, too!



Close-up panel of SAM SPADE tying the rope onto the gun she still has, wrapped around it’s trigger guard.



SAM SPADE throws the gun, with rope trailing behind it, up towards JORDAN, who fires another shot out of the rifle to clear away a flying vampire who might interfere with the gun’s flight path. DECKARD THOMPSON looks on in disbelief but fires again, hitting another close vampire. The rest of them should be close, almost within arm’s reach, surrrounding SPADE and THOMPSON.


 4 SAM SPADE:     Jordan! Heads up!


SFX:           KRAK!


SFX:           BLAM!



This is a panel showing most of the action. As the vampires lunge in at DECKARD THOMPSON and SAM SPADE, JORDAN lets go of the rifle (which is strapped to her and just lands nicely beside her) and catches the gun, yanking the rope toward her. SPADE is holding onto the other end of the rope and holding it out to THOMPSON while he fires at the nearest vampire closing in.


 5 SAM SPADE:     Take this!


SFX:           BLAM!


 6 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Jordan can’t pull us up there like this!



JORDAN hammers a horseshoe shaped spike down into the ground, with the rope going through it like a pulley system. As she does this, she casually lets the gun, still tied to the rope, fall off the edge of the hole and toward the floor.


 7 SAM SPADE (OFF):   She won’t have to.




As the tied gun comes flying towards SAM SPADE’s outstretched hand, the rope is yanked through the makeshift pulley JORDAN has created and it yanks DECKARD THOMPSON off his feet and into the air, flying towards the hole. He still manages to hang onto the gun he has. SAM SPADE is on the move, running through the vampires as they claw at her.


 1 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Whhoooooaaaaaa!



The other gun lands in SAM SPADE’s hand, so that she now has a hold of the other end of the rope. DECKARD THOMPSON slams into the side of the rock as the rope pulls him there and JORDAN reaches her hand down to pull him in. A VAMPIRE slashes at SAM SPADE and lands a successful claw attack on her back. Not surprising, as she is now standing in the midst of the group. There aren’t any more in the air, they weren’t faring well against JORDAN and her sniper rifle.


 2 JORDAN:        Hurry up, Deckard! There’s not much time!





DECKARD THOMPSON gets up to the ledge. JORDAN stands up (her sniper rifle going with her because of the strap) and starts to pull on the rope, still pulling through the makeshift pulley. Below them, we can’t even see SAM SPADE anymore, just a horde of vampires.


 4 JORDAN:        Sam, hold on! C’mon, Deckard, we don’t have much time!




DECKARD THOMPSON stashes the other gun in his belt and gets behind JORDAN, pulling on the rope with her, and together they yank SAM SPADE, still holding onto the gun, free of the horde and into the air. SAM SPADE looks to be in pretty bad shape, with her clothes torn all over the place and bite/scratch marks all over.



THOMPSON and JORDAN keep running back along the tunnel, pulling the rope with them. SAM SPADE catches the wall with her feet and is close to being in the tunnel. She is holding onto the gun for dear life. Behind her, the vampires are taking flight and following.



SAM SPADE reaches the tunnel and starts running, untying her gun so that the rope just slips through the makeshift pulley. JORDAN and DECKARD THOMPSON drop the rope and keep moving along the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel, not more than ten or fifteen feet, is a hole leading up and out.


 1 SAM SPADE:     I’m up! Drop the rope and move!


DECKARD THOMPSON boosts JORDAN up and she climbs out the hole. Meanwhile, the gun in THOMPSON’s belt goes flying out of its own accord and heads toward SPADE’s other outstretched hand. THOMPSON stares down at his belt in surprise. SAM SPADE aims the gun she has back down the tunnel, firing at the vampires who are crowding into the other end.


 2 DECKARD THOMPSON:  What the-?!


SFX:           BLAM!




The other gun lands in SAM SPADE’s hand as she fires again with the one she had, still walking backwards toward the hole. DECKARD THOMPSON climbs out, following JORDAN. The vampires are starting to close, but it’s not big enough for them to move quickly, since they are all crowded around en masse and are basically filling the tunnel as they go.


SFX:           BLAM!



SAM SPADE turns and runs to the hole, as the vampires surge forward. They’ll be on her again any second.



SAM SPADE turns around and fires both guns into the horde of vampires, who are just inches away. Her back is up against the wall. DECKARD THOMPSON reaches down with both arms and grabs her shoulders from above.


SFX:           BLAM! BLAM!





The vampires smack into the wall as they lunge, as DECKARD THOMPSON yanks SAM SPADE out of the hole. All that’s visible in this panel are her feet, just above the heads of the frustrated vampires.




SAM SPADE, DECKARD THOMPSON and JORDAN stand on top of the caves, just a little bit on top of the entrance. The entrance is sealed with a large rock, but there are holes throughout the ground around it. It is still not quite sundown, as the reddish light of the sun illuminates the area.


 1 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Why aren’t they following you?


 2 SAM SPADE:     Sunlight. We still got about 45 minutes before it’s feeding time.



DECKARD THOMPSON reaches over and starts inspecting SAM SPADE, who yells at him. JORDAN is running toward CORRIGAN, who is also running up to meet them. In the distance, parked far out in the parking lot, we can see the rented minivan that SAM SPADE and JORDAN got here in.


 3 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Were you bitten?


 4 SAM SPADE:     I was in amongst a horde of hungry vampires! Of course I was bitten!


 5 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Oh, man, doesn’t that mean you’re turning into one?


 6 SAM SPADE:     No! These are Aztec vampires, they don’t work that way! They don’t drink blood, they eat flesh!



SAM SPADE starts running after JORDAN, as DECKARD THOMPSON stands there looking a bit dumbfounded.


 7 SAM SPADE: Now unless you want to stay here, I suggest you follow Jordan and me!




The group arrives at the minivan and gets in, with JORDAN at the wheel.


 8 SAM SPADE:     You might want to drive fast. If you speed, we can make it back to civilization before they get loose.



The minivan speeds off down the road, tires squealing against the pavement as they take off.


SFX:           Squeeeeeeeaaaalllll!




JORDAN is at the wheel of the van, and SAM SPADE is in the passenger seat. DECKARD THOMPSON leans over from the rear seat and talks to them.


 1 DECKARD THOMPSON:  Spade, what the hell was that with the gun?


 2 SAM SPADE:     How did you find out about the Tear?


 3 DECKARD THOMPSON:  You first.


 4 SAM SPADE:     They’re enchanted to be light and to come when I call them. Now you go.



SAM SPADE yells at DECKARD THOMPSON as he tries to charm her with a smile. JORDAN looks over at both of them in disbelief.


 5 DECKARD THOMPSON:  It’s a big find, Spade. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?


 6 SAM SPADE:     You’re unbelievable, Thompson! You can’t give me a simple answer?


 7 JORDAN:        Okay, you two seem to be having focus problems…isn’t there a horde of bloodthirsty vampires about to be released into the general population?



SAM SPADE speaks calmly to JORDAN.


 8 SAM SPADE:     One…they’ve tasted my blood, so they’ll be following me, not eating the general populace. Two…that’s a problem for 45 minutes from now. This is a more immediate problem.



SAM SPADE points her gun at DECKARD THOMPSON, who vehemently protests.


 9 SAM SPADE:     Now then…give me the Tear, Thompson.


10 DECKARD THOMPSON:  I told you, Spade, I don’t have it! I was looking around for it before those things grabbed me, but I didn’t see anything except a dead goblin!



The van speeds off down the road, with yelling coming from inside.


11 SAM SPADE:     At least tell me where you got your information or I swear I’ll shoot you!


12 DECKARD THOMPSON:  You’re beautiful when you’re angry, Spade.





STANLEY MARTINSKI, an American tourist, walks into his hotel room in a the Camino Real Hotel in Mexico City. He has the Tear in his hand and a big smile on his face. His room is a fairly modern, well-equipped room, except for the centerpiece, a 7-foot tall ebony statue of a well-muscled man holding a curved blade and wearing a saran (basically a men’s skirt).

 1 CAPTION:       Stanley Martinski thought that making the winning bid on his wife’s favorite sculpture at the Mexico City auction was the luckiest he was ever going to get.


STANLEY drops the Tear on the floor, next to the statue, not noticing that its head has turned to look at him. It’s eyes are glowing.

 2 CAPTION :      But finding a rare treasure on the floor of the caverns? That was a real stroke of luck.


STANLEY enters the bathroom and turns on the water for the shower as he gets in.

 3 CAPTION:       It was a stroke of luck…


The curtain is closed, and all we see is the upper part of STANLEY as the water pours down on him. He calls out, thinking he heard something.

 4 CAPTION:       It just wasn’t a stroke of good luck.

 5 STANLEY:       Hello?


From STANLEY’s point of view, we see the curtain pulled aside. The Statue is standing there, its eyes glowing wildly and its sword raised above its head, just about to come down on STANLEY, who is screaming in fear.





A dank, dark cave lit by numerous torches set in the walls. There are three or four hallways leading out. Goblins abound, chewing on discarded bones and meat, fighting with each other, or sleeping. In the center of this large chamber is a jeweled throne. On the throne sits a six-foot tall man wearing a suit of armor much like a medieval knight, with plumage and a cape of bright colors. Within the armor, he looks imposing and evil. This is LORD HALE. He does not look pleased.


 1 LORD HALE:     Where…is…it?!



LORD HALE stands up and starts yelling, kicking a goblet at his feet, which flies out and hits a goblin in the head. The goblins scatter, running off down the various hallways.





HEMLOCK walks in from one of the hallways, while several cowering goblins look on. LORD HALE focuses his blazing eyes on the newly arrived goblin. Other goblins start slowly creeping back in through the hallways, staying near the edge of the cave.


 3 LORD HALE:     Hemmmlock. Wherrrreee iss ittt?


 4 HEMLOCK:       We’ve had some temporary impediments, Lord Hale. Burt has undergone a rather unfortunate misadventure with mortal consequences, and the Tear has vanished.



LORD HALE is across the room, and has hefted the hapless HEMLOCK off his feet and is holding him by the throat. He screams into the goblin’s face.


 5 LORD HALE:     Vanished?! Vanished?! And you dare to return here?!



LORD HALE flings HEMLOCK across the room, where he lands on the goblins who had cautiously been making their way back into the cave. The others scatter back into the hallways.


 6 LORD HALE:     Get out, Hemlock! Don’t come back without the Tear!




The goblins are gone, including HEMLOCK, who dashes off down the hallway. A shadowy presence, THE EVIL, appears in midair next to LORD HALE. THE EVIL should be a shapeless cloud, perhaps with random tentacles floating out, not anything easily identifiable.


 1 THE EVIL:      Problems, Lord Hale?


 2 LORD HALE:     No! Temporary impediments. Not problems.



THE EVIL floats about the cave, as LORD HALE takes off his helmet, revealing his true form. He has a bulbous nose and plain, even ugly features, brought on by years of inbreeding. He has white scraggly hair and a pock-marked face.


 3 THE EVIL:      If you cannot bring the Tear to us, Lord Hale, we will find someone else. And you will continue to spend your life alone, as you have for the past ten centuries.


 4 LORD HALE:     NO! I mean… You know I want to have you and the others here. I won’t fail you. You will join me on this Earth.


This is a flashback panel, showing the ugly, pathetic LORD HALE dressed in finery from the 10th century. He stands in the midst of an alchemical laboratory, with smoking chemicals and vials filled with all manner of liquids and gases. He has a tube plugged into both arms and running up and around his head. The tubes pass through vials filled with sparkling gases. Next to him is a thin, sinister looking man with a goatee. He  is the ALCHEMIST. The ALCHEMIST holds out a potion to HALE with one hand.


 5 ALCHEMIST:     A fair exchange, Hale. Your blackened, twisted soul for eternal life.


Another flashback panel, showing LORD HALE much as he was in the last panel, but dressed in much richer looking clothes. He is at a cemetery, alone, staring at a tombstone. This is a close-up view, so we can’t see any of his surroundings except the tombstone.


 6 LORD HALE:     You are the last, Sarafina. I’ve grown tired of mortals dying on me…But I’ve decided to grant you a kindness, for all the years of kindness you showed me.



The “camera” pans back and we see the surroundings of the flashback scene. There are roughly twenty people lying dead, slaughtered by the ten goblins who stand around, waiting for HALE to finish with his goodbye. LORD HALE sets a single rose on the gravesite.


 7 LORD HALE:     My new friends have sent your friends and family to stay with you in the afterlife. When you look down upon the world, you won’t see me. I go to live with these goblins in a place where no mortals dwell.




SAM SPADE and JORDAN are walking into the Camino Real hotel. There are police cars everywhere, and guests wandering about in a state of shock, talking to each other about the surprising events of the past few hours. SAM SPADE is dressed in her tattered exploration gear, but her holsters are both empty, as the guns are back in the minivan.


 1 JORDAN:        You notice we’ve seen a lot of police since we got here?


 2 SAM SPADE:     Oh, now what?!



SAM SPADE grabs a passing bellboy by the arm and questions him about the events.


 3 SAM SPADE:     <Excuse me, sir. What happened here?>


 4 BELLBOY:       <A giant statue terrorized a man in his room and the police have him cornered.>


 5 SAM SPADE:     <Oh. Thanks.>


 6 CAPTION:       <Translated from Spanish>



SAM SPADE starts to walk toward the hotel while saying something to JORDAN, who gets a resigned expression on her face.


 7 SAM SPADE:     I’m going to check this out. Make sure Thompson’s where we left him.



JORDAN walks back out to the minivan and slides open the back door. Inside is DECKARD THOMPSON, hogtied and strapped to the back seat with a gag in his mouth. He does not look at all pleased, and is trying to yell for help. This is made more difficult by CORRIGAN, sitting happily on his chest and licking his face.




 9 JORDAN:        Just relax, Deckard. And Corrigan’s just being friendly.



Behind the van, there is a flash of light, and we see HEMLOCK poking his head around. He mutters to himself and looks off towards the hotel.


10 HEMLOCK:       Spade will locate the Tear for me. Now where is…ah! I believe I see her!




Splash page. There is a large pool, with deck chairs and towels and various other things scattered all around it, as if lots of people left in a big hurry. Standing next to the pool, holding the Tear, is the statue, holding aloft its sword and screaming. The statue’s name is TENAJO. The pool is in the center of the hotel proper, with the building encircling the pool area on three sides. The fourth side is a walkway that leads to another building. There are about fifteen policemen, positioned in various places around the pool area, aiming guns at TENAJO. Several of them are firing, but the bullets are having no effect on TENAJO.


 1 TENAJO:        <Cortes! Bring her back to me! I will kill all of your soldiers!>


 2 CAPTION:       <Translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>






HEMLOCK rushes away from the minivan and towards the hotel. He is dressed in a trenchcoat and hat. There are scattered groups of people moving away from the hotel, including a mother, holding her young boy’s hand, who is right in HEMLOCK’s path. The child points at the goblin and is shushed by his mother.


 1 CHILD:         Mommy! Ugly!


 2 MOTHER:        Toby! Quiet! That isn’t nice!



SAM SPADE, meanwhile, has reached the source of the disturbance. She stands just behind the police line, watching as TENAJO grabs a deck chair and throws it at a group of officers. More gunfire bounces off his stone skin. There aren’t many people gathered around watching, only a couple of officers right in front of SAM SPADE, standing and watching the fight.


 3 TENAJO:        <Marianna! Where have they taken you?! Get away from me, you untrained louts! I am not afraid of your strange bows!>


 4 SAM SPADE:     Did he say Marianna? This is over a woman? And what the hell is that he’s speaking?


 5 CAPTION:       <Translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>





One of the officers turns his head, thinking SAM SPADE is talking to him. SAM SPADE tries to convince him to let her through.


 6 OFFICER:       Did you say something, Senora?


 7 SAM SPADE:     Just thinking out loud…wait. You have to let me in there. This is all a huge misunderstanding, I think.


 8 OFFICER:       I don’t think so, Senora. You could get hurt quite easily. Why don’t you go with the other guests?



SAM SPADE jumps the police line and sprints towards TENAJO, as the two OFFICERS nearest her try to stop her.


 9 SAM SPADE:     Oh, forget it!


10 OFFICER 1:     Ey!


11 OFFICER 2:     Senora, come back!



With the OFFICERS chasing SAM SPADE, HEMLOCK slips out from his hiding place and slides underneath the police line.


12 HEMLOCK:       Short attention spans are a sign of the feeble-minded.




SAM SPADE charges toward TENAJO, who turns and raises his sword above his head. She is yelling to him. The policemen hold their fire, but the other two are still chasing her.


 1 SAM SPADE:     <Wait! Are you Tenajo?>


 2 CAPTION:       <Translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>



TENAJO lowers his sword and talks back to SAM SPADE, who halts where she is. The two police catch up to her and grab her by the arms.


 3 TENAJO:        <I do not know you. Where is Marianna?>


 4 SAM SPADE:     <It’s…a little hard to explain. Marianna…died a long time ago. Tenajo, what is the last thing you remember?>


 5 SAM SPADE:     Hey! Let go!



TENAJO drops his sword and the Tear and rushes over and takes one of the policemen in each arm, pulling them off of SAM SPADE. The policemen struggle as they are pulled away.


 6 TENAJO:        <Let her go! The armed men, they always attack the women! I won’t have it!>


 7 SAM SPADE:     <Tenajo, wait! These aren’t like Cortes’ men! They enforce the law, they don’t conquer others!>



TENAJO holds the policemen up as the others surrounding him nervously keep their guns pointed at him. SAM SPADE gestures and tries to get him to understand what she is saying.


 8 SAM SPADE:     <You’re Tenajo of the Aztecs, aren’t you? Your bride-to-be, Marianna, was taken by Cortes as his companion?>


 9 TEJANO:        <Yes! I will find her, and I will kill Cortes!>


10 SAM SPADE:     <You’re too late. Time has done the job for you already. Tenajo, you were frozen into a statue by Cortes’ magic. You’ve been sleeping for hundreds of years.>



Close-up of TENAJO’s eyes. A single tear rolls down his ebon face. It is a black liquid, looking something like oil.




TENAJO drops the two policemen onto the ground. He holds his hand in front of his face as if he’s never seen it before in his life. SAM SPADE continues to talk to him.


 1 TENAJO:        <You…speak the truth. I remember. I have slept too long? My Marianna is dead?>


 2 SAM SPADE:     <I’m afraid so. Listen, I might know someone who can help you. But…I need your help first.>


 3 CAPTION:       <Translated from an ancient Aztec dialect>



A longer shot, with TENAJO lowering his head in agreement. SAM SPADE chuckles and speaks back to him. Meanwhile, HEMLOCK has slipped past everyone and picked up the Tear.


 4 TENAJO:        <You are the first person who has not attacked me since I awoke. Even the naked man tried to kick me before he charged out the door.>


 5 SAM SPADE:     <Heh. Listen, there are some vampires following me. I’m going to need your help.>


 6 TENAJO:        <If you can help me…I will help you.>


 7 SAM SPADE:     Hey, what’s that little…kid…doing…oh, great.



As HEMLOCK’s bauble begins to glow underneath his trenchcoat, SAM SPADE yells at him and reaches into her empty holsters, forgetting that her guns aren’t there.


 8 SAM SPADE:     Goblin! Freeze or I’ll…damn!



HEMLOCK turns his head, his hat falling off, as the bauble glows brightly. SAM SPADE runs toward him, but she’s not going to make it in time.


 9 HEMLOCK:       Ah, Ms. Spade. Lovely to see you again.


10 SAM SPADE:     Hemlock?! Get back here with that Tear, you miserable little…



SAM SPADE grabs HEMLOCK, who has turned into energy and is disappearing. Her arms go through. SAM SPADE yells in frustration.






SAM SPADE charges back toward the minivan, with TENAJO following her and the police following them.


SAM SPADE gets to the van and jumps into the driver’s side, surprising JORDAN, who is sitting in the passenger seat.

 1 JORDAN:        Sam? What happened?

 2 SAM SPADE:     Bad news. That goblin Hemlock got away with the Tear, and I think I’ve figured out what it does. If I’m right…this is bad news.


TENAJO jumps inside the van on top of DECKARD THOMPSON. SAM SPADE starts driving and casually tells them to relax.


 4 SAM SPADE:     Relax. He’s with me.


The van speeds off, with yelling coming from within.

 5 JORDAN:        Who is this? What’s going on? Where did you find the Tear? What happened?

 6 SAM SPADE:     I’ll explain later. Right now we’ve got about half an hour before those vampires get to the hotel, so we’ve got to get out where there aren’t any other people.

 7 JORDAN:        And then what?

 8 SAM SPADE:     We make a lot of noise. Get in the back and get the stuff we slipped past customs.




This is a shot of the moon, full against the starlit sky.


The moon is almost blotted out as a cloud of vampires fly past it.



Show the road below. It is a desert road, with only the minivan on it. The cloud of vampires is flying above, closing in on it.


The vampires crowd around the minivan. This is a closer shot, as they’re tearing through the side door and the back. In the window, with a side view, we can see SAM SPADE driving and someone else in the passenger seat.


CORTEZ, the lead vampire, reaches in and pulls the driver’s side door off, and SAM SPADE jumps out and rolls away from the van. TENAJO, who is sitting on the passenger side, grabs the wheel and gets a shocked expression on his face.. In between their seats is a detonator marked :01. The cords go toward the back, but we can’t see what’s back there.

 1 SAM SPADE:     Surprise, ugly.

 2 TENAJO:        <Cortes!>

 3 CORTES:        <It can’t be!>


 4 CAPTION:       <Translated from ancient Aztec dialect>


Show the back of the van. There are two large bundles of dynamite sitting on the backseat, with a wire heading up to the detonator in front.




SAM SPADE climbs behind a rock as the van explodes, engulfing the cloud of vampires. This should be a big, impressive panel.



SAM SPADE stands up and shields her eyes with her hand, looking at the flaming wreckage. There are skeletons of the vampires sitting all around it. TENAJO stands in the midst of the wreckage, doubled over with laughter.

 1 SAM SPADE:     Man…the rental company is going to be upset with me.

 2 TENAJO:        Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!


SAM SPADE runs up closer, yelling to TENAJO. He turns, revealing that the explosion sheared the features off of his body, leaving only a black humanoid shape.

 3 SAM SPADE:     <Tenajo? Are you okay?>

 4 TENAJO:        <Heh…heh…I…heh…I…am fine. I just…wasn’t too late. Hee…hee…>

 5 SAM SPADE:     <You mean…that actually was Cortes? I heard you say the name, but…that’s unbelievable.>


SAM SPADE starts running back down the road, reaching for her cellular phone.

 5 SAM SPADE:     This is not good. The Tear is more powerful than I thought. Jordan! Get down here now! The vampires are gone, but we’ve got a worse problem now!




SAM SPADE sits in a library, with stacks of books on the table on either side of her. She has glasses on, and is wearing a fresh suit. She has a light on the table, and there are stacks of books behind her. It is night-time, and the library is officially closed, but SAM SPADE got in due to connections with the librarian. JORDAN is behind her, grabbing a book from a shelf. The two are talking to each other while they research.

 1 JORDAN:        So he just walked away?

 2 SAM SPADE:     Yep. Said he had made his peace. I offered to talk to Thematra about him, but he said he wanted to see the modern world.

 3 JORDAN:        Weird coincidence, that after less than an hour of re-awakening, he and Cortes ran into each other.

 4 SAM SPADE:     I don’t think it was a coincidence…wait, here it is!


Show the picture on the pages of the book that SAM SPADE is looking at. It shows a war between dark forces, winged demons, goblins vs. armored dwarves and elves. The dwarves and elves are being overwhelmed. This is a large, impressive panel, depicting a legendary fantasy war. Go nuts. There are captions on the book.

 5 CAPTION:       …And the war had not gone well. The forces of darkness were overwhelming the forces of light. The generals assumed they had only days left of freedom.


The page of the book flips, showing a diagram of the Mithril Tear. There is a page of text next to it on the facing page.

 6 CAPTION:       The dwarven race had been working night and day, and they came up with a solution. The Mithril Tear. With this beacon, they awakened the sleeping demigods and heroes and the light of the magic beacon brought them all together. Many of these risen heroes and demigods died in the fighting, but the tide finally turned against chaos, and the light once again shone on the world.




SAM SPADE continues to read from the book as JORDAN sits down next to her with a worried expression.


 1 SAM SPADE:     “But the forces of chaos merely slept, as the demigods and heroes had at one time. And the Tear could awaken them as well, so the dwarf hero Rogan Tomasik took the Mithril Tear and buried it somewhere that mortals would never find it.”



SAM SPADE closes the book and looks at JORDAN.


 2 SAM SPADE:     Problem is, mortals did find it. And apparently they used it to wake up the bad things in their region and bend them to their will. That’s what I was afraid of. The Tear wakes up sleeping demons. And then it brings them all together. That’s what drew Tenajo and Cortes together.


 3 JORDAN:        But it’s okay, because the good guys are waking up too, right?


 4 SAM SPADE:     No. It said that most of the heroes and demigods died in the fighting.



SAM SPADE gets up and goes to one of the other stacks of books. She begins looking through them. JORDAN looks over at her.


 5 JORDAN:        What are you looking for?


 6 SAM SPADE:     Hale. I want to get a better feel for who he is and what he might be up to.



SAM SPADE holds a book over her head triumphantly and shouts. JORDAN shushes her.


 7 SAM SPADE:     Got it!


 8 JORDAN:        Sam! We’re still in a library!



SAM SPADE gives JORDAN an incredulous look.




SAM SPADE puts the book down and flips to the middle. Her face takes on a scared expression.


 1 SAM SPADE:     Oh man…this isn’t good. Hale is an English nobleman who sold his soul for immortality.


 2 JORDAN:        So what does he want with the Tear?


 3 SAM SPADE:     On the day his eighth wife died, all of her friends and close relatives were murdered. Villagers thought it was by goblins. That was the last contact humanity had with Lord Hale.



JORDAN looks frustrated at SAM SPADE’s apparent inability to give her a straight answer.


 4 JORDAN:        So…what does he want with the Tear?


 5 SAM SPADE:     Don’t you see, Jordan? Hale’s had no human contact for hundreds of years. His mind probably doesn’t work the way ours do. I’m afraid that what he may be looking for isn’t power as much as companionship.


 6 SAM SPADE:     Burt said as much. Said the guy is lonely. I’m afraid he’s about to unleash some very bad things on the world and give them free reign.



A fairly large splash of a resplendent galleon manned by numerous goblins. HEMLOCK and LORD HALE stand at the forefront of the galleon looking out on the choppy waters. LORD HALE is holding the Mithril Tear aloft, and it is glowing brightly.


 7 HEMLOCK:       Roughly four hours until we arrive at the locale colluiqually known as the Bermuda Triangle, Lord Hale.


 8 LORD HALE:     Yes…soon, my friends. Soon.



Smaller panel, with water about 60 miles from the galleon’s location. It is bubbling madly, and a single monstrous tentacle rises about twenty feet above the surface of the water.


 9 CAPTION:       Next issue! Portents of the future! Boat chases! And fun with tentacles from the deep!